I've started to notice that I'm really shy around people except for a few very close friends. In general when it comes to social situations I'm really inhibited. I think about everything before I say it. I second guess myself a lot too. I guess it's just a lack of confidence. What sucks is that I don't know how to get over it. I try to be more social but it feels unnatural, like I'm faking it. I guess I just wish I was more comfortable around people. I think if I was relaxed I'd be wittier/more social and in general more like I am around the few close friends I have. Any suggestions on how to get over this?
This is not something you can jump into head first. You have to take small steps to build your confidence.
I would not advise a simple 'just get over it' solution, mainly because the root of the issue is a lot deeper than that. Say, for instance, that a friend of yours has a fear of snakes. You wouldn't lock him in a room with a million snakes to cure his fear (well, I don't know you Kevin...maybe you would :)...but it wouldn't be the best idea).
Same thing goes for you! Throwing yourself into parties or events with tons of new people to meet is just overwhelming and won't do you a bit of good in the long run.
Start by introducing yourself to ONE new person who may be hanging out with your group of friends. This way, you are already feeling comfortable because you are around people you know.
Secondly, don't be hard on yourself when trying to build your social skills and confidence. This will only send you in reverse.
Third, start recognizing traits/hobbies that make you interesting. Don't think it's only you Kevin...everyone HATES small talk.
Finally, start visualizing success and confidence. Every night before you go to bed, play a movie in your mind of everything you want in your life. Believe it and see it materialize!
Marisa Liza Pell
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Marisa Liza Pell, M.A., CEO of Knowledge For Living, has been advising individuals and groups for nine years.
She is known throughout the Mid-Atlantic as a gifted motivational success coach and intuitive advisor. Born with heightened clairvoyance, she intertwines this extraordinary awareness with coaching to assist her clients on every level.
Marisa's passion for the arts also fuels her work as a recognized theatre director, writer and video producer.
Marisa holds a Masters of Arts degree from Emerson College, Boston and an Bachelor of Arts degree from Dickinson College, PA.
In Boston, MA, she co-hosted a holistic and intuitive call-in LIVE radio show in association with nationally renowned healing and spiritual center Open Doors. After relocating to the Philadelphia area, she appeared on 610WIP sports talk radio, taking part in specialty talk segments, live call-ins and sports predictions. Most recently, she teamed up with Philadelphia rock station 93.3 WMMR for unedited readings on air.
Knowledge For Living was created this year to offer a combination of success coaching, intuitive advising and motivational seminars to clients so that overall well-being and balance is achieved.
She has recently teamed up with BigBreakNY.com and Creative Acting Company (NYC) to offer a new lectures series to professionals in the entertainment industry. You can read more about her lecture series in her online interview with BigBreakNY.com.
Marisa believes in making the most out of life through creative passion, which is the driving force behind her work.
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