My name is Rich. My ex-girlfriend Irene and I were together for a year and a half. She moved out almost 2 years ago. We were both unemployed and it seemed like the sensible thing to do.
She moved back with her parents. There was just no time for a relationship while we are worrying about our careers. We hung out a few times after that. Then she said she didn't have those feelings for me anymore and eventually stopped all contact with me.
I sent her an e-mail last March that she finally answered. She said that I'm not what she's looking for, move on, etc. Irene is 30. I'm 44. A young 44. My age was never a problem. She moved in with a 26-year-old guy she met online, after knowing him for just a month, that is loaded through a family business, but has no job, career.
We dated for a year before she moved in with me. She hated those kinds of people when I knew her. She's highly educated and doesn't like people without a career. She just got a job and moved to Florida with him where they bought a house together. (She and I talked about moving there someday.) Seems to me, he was an easy ticket out for her to get out of her parents' house.
What do you think? Will they stay together? Will she ever be in my life again?
It seems like your ex-girlfriend not only wanted a meal ticket but also wanted a man who was totally the opposite of you—younger and loaded (it didn't really matter where it came from just as long as he had it).
To me, this shows signs of a user, a woman who doesn't care about a man's ambition (or lack thereof), and someone who favors quantity over quality. To put it bluntly, she's out for herself.
I have no doubt that the feelings she had for you during the onset of your relationship were real, but for some reason when you became unemployed she looked at that as a loss of her security. I believe this bothered her more than she let on.
If she's doing things that she claimed were against her nature, then she's either become desperate or you never knew her in the first place.
At this point, it really doesn't matter because she's shown her true colors. Her lack of common sense and her deluded sense of reality definitely makes me question her true motivations.
Is she really in love with this guy? Probably not.
Will she leave him once she finds something better? Most likely.
Should a nice guy like you still be thinking about someone who will never appreciate him? Definitely NOT.
My advice: Put the past behind you and put the energy you spend thinking about her into finding a genuine person who will love you for you and not your place in the job market.
You want someone who will stick around when the going gets tough. Your ex failed that test miserably! Once you let this go, I can guarantee that new opportunities will arise!
Best of luck,
Marisa Liza Pell
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Marisa Liza Pell, M.A., CEO of Knowledge For Living, has been advising individuals and groups for nine years.
She is known throughout the Mid-Atlantic as a gifted motivational success coach and intuitive advisor. Born with heightened clairvoyance, she intertwines this extraordinary awareness with coaching to assist her clients on every level.
Marisa's passion for the arts also fuels her work as a recognized theatre director, writer and video producer.
Marisa holds a Masters of Arts degree from Emerson College, Boston and an Bachelor of Arts degree from Dickinson College, PA.
In Boston, MA, she co-hosted a holistic and intuitive call-in LIVE radio show in association with nationally renowned healing and spiritual center Open Doors. After relocating to the Philadelphia area, she appeared on 610WIP sports talk radio, taking part in specialty talk segments, live call-ins and sports predictions. Most recently, she teamed up with Philadelphia rock station 93.3 WMMR for unedited readings on air.
Knowledge For Living was created this year to offer a combination of success coaching, intuitive advising and motivational seminars to clients so that overall well-being and balance is achieved.
She has recently teamed up with BigBreakNY.com and Creative Acting Company (NYC) to offer a new lectures series to professionals in the entertainment industry. You can read more about her lecture series in her online interview with BigBreakNY.com.
Marisa believes in making the most out of life through creative passion, which is the driving force behind her work.
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